I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town