Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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