Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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