gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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