You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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