Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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