So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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