we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
