I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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