I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
