I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
