You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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