me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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