it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
