p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
