Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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