I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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