i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
