Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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