Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
