I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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