Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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