idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
