You're a womanizer and a bitch.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Randomize
