areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
