just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
