i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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