Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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