Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
