wakey wakey hands off snakey
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
