it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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