Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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