My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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