hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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