O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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