In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
someone owes me an orgasm
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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