Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
