I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
