there's paper in my vomit.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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