gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
