forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
