I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
