:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
