so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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