I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
