I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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