...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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