Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
