Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
