The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
