You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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