Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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