Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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