I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
