Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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