i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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