did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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