the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
