Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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