The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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