I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
