Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
