it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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