Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
