Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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