I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
