Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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