he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
this is an emotional support booty call
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
