3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
