Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(954): View more from Florida

You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something

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(563): View more from Iowa

why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(925): View more from California

Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed

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(941): View more from Florida

how did the keg end up in the top bunk?

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(727): View more from Florida

You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

How was your night?

(508): View more from Massachusetts

I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party

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