Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
