A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Randomize