I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
