she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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